Survivor

Hawaiian Punch

H. Punch quadrupled in size when he was zombi-fied by the Jolly Green Giant. He no longer fits inside the chicken coop so he lives in a shack built by former Survivor host Jeff Probst. Who is also a zombie — he just hides it well. You should see him at 3 a.m. 

Likes: pineapples and dancing the hula. 

Dislikes: his miniature wings, which can't untie that stupid scarf that Probst pranked on him.

How about a nice Hawaiian punch. Like me. Take me home and I'll punch you in the face with my pineapple. I know you want it.

Ticked Off!!!!!

Hi. I'm Superhero Red and I'm pissed off. I'm a freakin' Superhero! I should have a better photo than this!!!!

Slacker Red turned into Superhero Red when he was zombi-fied by a former Leghorn Rooster dictator. Now his mission in life is to rid the chicken coop of sneaky roosters who replace eggs with those nasty Egg Beaters. 

Likes: leaping to the top roost in a single bound. 

Dislikes: accordian music and quiche.

The Doctor Is In

Doctor Green

Doc Green was hypothesizing on the relativityism of time travel in the dark vs the light. His assistant, Checkers, sneaked up behind Doc and zombi-fied him. 

Likes: Proving other scientists wrong. Which doesn't happen often. 

Dislikes: Molly Ringwald movies.

Check This Out

My Name is Checkers. Wanna Play?

Checkers hangs out at a bingo parlor in his spare time. The dude across the table went beserk when Checkers won a game and put the ol' zombie hex on him. Checkers works as a test tube washer for Doc Green. The pay sucks. 

So does Doc Green. 

Likes: cotton candy. 

Dislikes: water spots on test tubes.

Juicy

Orange Julius

OJ floated from Cuba to Miami on a raft and promptly fell in with the party crowd, due to his colorful, uh, presence. He writes a blog and wants to take over Rush Limbaugh's show to be the first openly gay Cuban rooster talk show host. 

Likes: squeezing stuff. 

Dislikes: anything before noon.

Hey Grandpa, What's fer Supper?

Winnyfred

A taste-tester at KFC headquarters, Winnyfred is sweet, innocent, somewhat confused and always hungry, and oh-by-the-way, wonders what you are having for dinner tonight? 

Likes: counting chickens before they’re hatched. 

Dislikes: losing count.

Let's Go Skinny-Dippin'

Jools

Jools got zombi-fied in the middle of his shower and now roams the earth in his little towel. And cat scarf. 

Likes: Long walks on the beach. 

Starting to like: Nude beaches.

I'm Not a Walrus. I'm a Zombie.

Goo Goo Ga Joob

When the Beatles visited India, John Lennon thought he’d play a joke on George Harrison by hiding Joob Joob in his sitar case. Joob escaped while George was singing Hare Krishna and has been kicking Poe-ts ever since.
Likes: Vegas showgirl headdresses. 

Dislikes: Cornflakes.

Roses are Red. Zombies are Dead. Sort of.

Rosy-Red

Rosy is the sunshine in our lives. She’s always harbored a secret desire to be a stripper, and has a large drawer full of thongs. 

Likes: watching “Britain’s Got Talent.” 

Dislikes: guacamole and baking pies.

Zombies Ate My Brain. And My KFC Lunch.

Lucky Strike

Ol’ Lucky is a former smoker who kicked the habit when he got zombi-fied. Now he hangs out at the bowling alley. 

Likes: kittens and Fruit Stripe gum. 

Dislikes: gutter balls and getting his dangly parts all twisted when he throws a strike.

Dancin' Machine

Helllllooooooooooooo! I'm Ravena.

Carrying on her family’s dancing chicken tradition, Ravena migrated to Kansas from Izmit, Turkey. She is available for bellygrams and private parties. 

Likes: foot massages and corn on the cob. 

Dislikes: scrambled eggs.

Hold Me Closer

Hi. I'm Tiny Dancer. Tee Hee.

Tiny met Ravena at the Up & Over Club and they’ve been birds of a feather ever since. She is THE inspiration for Elton John’s famous song. A lot of people don’t know that. 

Likes: Long Island Iced Tea. 

Dislikes: having to give foot massages to Ravena.

Here We Go

Hi. I'm Loopy Lou.

Who you?

Louise used to play jazz clarinet in Harlem. She got zombi-fied and is now into Dippin’ Dots. 

Likes: dalmations and the Department of Transportation (DOT). 

Dislikes: the sound of popping balloons.

That's One Suave Zombie

Hi. I'm Gordon Suave. How you doin'?

Gordon has a very successful chicken fence business. He’s quite a smooth squawker and makes a lot of hens swoon. He has fathered about 78 chicks, give or take a few, throughout the Midwest. 

Likes: caviar and cognac. 

Dislikes: Commitment.

Lemon Flop

Some #%~@!*$ cut off my wing in this picture.

Hi. You're looking at Lemon Flop

Lemon Flop is a constant burst of chipperperk (= chipperness + perkiness), which annoys the *%!* out of other zombies. He’s looking for a new home — maybe with you. 

Likes: Pert shampoo, sunshine and lollipops. 

Dislikes: hmmm, can’t think of anything. 

Day 2. Human is Replaced.

The worthless lump of space formerly known as Patty is gone. We are now all zombies, all the time.

Hi. I'm Crazy Doktor Tom. I will now speak about myself in 3rd person.

Dr. Tom was the most famous beer scientist in all the land, until that fateful day when he took his beloved dog, Ginger, out to scare up some birds and got attacked by zombi-fied alligators instead. But that's OK, because now he's a wine scientist at the Zombee Bar, which he likes better anyway. 

Likes: traveling to his newest vacation discovery, Caldwell, Kansas, especially in 110 degree weather. Dislikes: hot weather, tornadoes.

I've Got Your Zombie Right Here

Day 1-1/2.

Still being overrun by zombies.

But at least they are friendly.
For the most part.

Dottie

When a crazed clown went on a rampage and zombi-fied everyone at the circus, Dottie’s wings suddenly became double-jointed. She is now a contortionist. Just not a very good one. 

Likes: the theatre and Thai food. 

Dislikes: audiences with no sense of appreciation for the - er - unusual.

The Zombies are Blogging! The Zombies are Blogging!

Day 1. 


Zombies have taken over my computer, my chair, my brain. 


Help.

Hi. My name is Hobo Herman.