Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Gizzard of Oz

Teddie Gale

Teddie was one of the chickens at the Gale farm before the tornado. When the stormchaser news team showed up, they thought it would be the perfect opportunity to make that indie movie they’d been talking about. Teddie thought they said “The Gizzard of Oz.” He had no interest in being subject of the film, so he dressed up like Dorothy, the brat who encouraged her stupid little dog to chase all the chickens. The morning of casting call, Teddie showed up, expecting only a walk-on role. The director loved Teddie’s look, exclaiming, “She’ll fit right in with the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion and Wizard!” Well, sweet little Dorothy wasn’t having any of that. She texted Miss Almira Gulch over in Greenville, and promised her a new bicycle with a honky horn if she’d take care of Teddie. Ol’ Gulchy whipped up a batch of her special brew, watered her barnyard cemetery with it, and zombie chickens rose to the occasion. They swooped over the Gale farm and zombi-fied everyone this side of Oz. Now Teddie spends his days laughing at Dorothy, who keeps trying to find her way outta Dodge with a map drawn by the Scarecrow, who is, frankly, clueless.

Likes: kitties, rainbows, lollipops, pecking out Toto’s brains. 

Dislikes: tornadoes, Auntie Em, flying monkeys.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Happy Birthday, Miss Tabor

Hennilynn Munrow

Hennilynn and friends were preparing a surprise 16th birthday party for their friend, Tabor. Hennilynn answered the doorbell, expecting the Nicki Minaj and Marilyn Monroe impersonators, but instead found a mob of zombie chickens looking for KoolAid and Cheetos. And brains. They stormed the house and zombi-fied everyone there and ate all the snacks. Tabor’s 16th birthday party was the biggest surprise party EVER.

Hennilynn likes: baseball players, white dresses and cream puffs. 

Dislikes: getting zombi-fied before graduating, stitches and Beliebers.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

DQ Daisy

DQ Daisy had the “DQ” added to her name after she was zombi-fied at the local Dairy Queen. She had just ordered a chocolate dip cone when she was attacked by a zombie who was craving brains covered in ice cream. Daisy came out of it with a permanent curly-q comb and a job making perfectly swirled and curled cones at DQ. 

Likes: disco dancing, playing the harmonica. 

Dislikes: roosters who are shorter than she, people who think Braum’s is better than DQ.

Sister Hazel

Sister Hazel is a soloist in the choir at Old Zion Freewill Last Hope Christian Church of Christ. She is loved and accepted there, even though she is a zombie chicken. Because, after all, God loves us all, even zombies. 

Likes: her stylish hats, parish potluck dinners, giving hugs. 

Dislikes: being asked if brains are her favorite food.


Bingo Bart holds the title of winning-est zombie chicken in the U.S. Everyone hates it when he struts into the room — from the casinos in Vegas to the bingo halls in Hicksville — because you just can’t beat the dude. 

Likes: to yell “WINNING!” when he enters a room. 

Dislikes: chickens who are only attracted to him for his money.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Zombie Chickens

Miss Sunnyshine is the happiest zombie chicken you’ll ever meet. It was only her second day at the chicken coop when a pack of zombies showed up. She ran straight toward them because she thought they were from Welcome Wagon. The zombies were pretty disappointed, because she didn’t have a lot of brains for them to munch on. But she still has her sunny disposition, and that’s saying a lot when you’ve been zombi-fied! 

Likes: sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, kittens. 

Dislikes: rainy days ... except for the rainbows!

Party On! Pete

Party On! Pete is a real party animal. He was zombi-fied by a belly dancer at Tasso’s Greek Restaurant in Kansas City, but he had so much fun with her, he didn’t even care. 

Likes: yelling “Opa!”, ouzo, breaking plates. 

Party on!
Dislikes: Last call, finding out Zaina is married, ouzo hangovers.