These bums just showed up. No names, no stories. They are claiming amnesia.
So it's up to you to give them a story. If I like it, I’ll keep it. If not, I might get around to writing them a bio. Someday. Come on, this is your chance for glory. Write something!!!!!
Ok. I will take a shot at bum #2. Because the story behind #1 is fairly obvious. I mean, c'mon. Wavy Chicken Gravy, Baby. Two words: Fillmore '68.
#2 is more of an enigma. From a cryptozombioligical standpoint (yes, I just coined that term. After all, I do write for a living), the taxonomy is hard on this one.
I mean, this is no chicken. I'm tempted to call it a member of the family Leporidae (bunnies for all of you non-cryptozombieologists out there.) But there is also something very Marsupial about this creature. Compare the proboscis (nose) of creature #2 to that of this Koala bear (which is miscategorized as a ursine (bear) but is actually marsupial.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Koala_climbing_tree.jpg
But I digress. Actually, I do not digress. I progress. Because what I'm trying to do is put a picture together. Like any good taxonomist worth his or her salt would.
Let's talk about the orange eyes. There are several creatures whose eyes glow orange. The most typical being alligators and spiders.
It's on the internet. I has to be true. But this is puzzling. Because this creature has rabbit-like teeth, a marsupial nose, alligator eyes (absence of 8 reticulated limbs have eliminated the arachnid possibility) and, if i must say, feline whiskers.
I believe we have discovered a brand new cryptozombiological creature. Kind of like an undead platypus. Or group of platypie. A bus tub of platypie, I believe they are referred to as. But I'm just an amateur at this, really, not the expert I pretend to be.
I'm naming this new species "Speciesotica Eclectica." Not for any other reason except that I enjoy the ring of that. And it reminds me of a way to obviously invented word, like that "unobtainium" crap name they had for the mineral they were mining on that planet in the movie Avatar.
But enough about species. Let's talk about this cute little zombie gal. She is quite shy (though obviously nationalistic). She whispered her name to me in a thick but sexy british accent. "Me name is Rohnwen. But you can call me Poppy."
I tried to pry a last name out of her but she says we'll have to "get on a bit" before that happens. Perhaps there is a royal lineage story here of some kind. Certainly some intrigue.
She said as a youngling she was found by a family of hedgehogs near a marshy moor. Taken into her graces, she lived and toiled along side the friendly creatures, even teaching herself to curl into a ball to fit in. This was to be her undoing. As she became curled into said position one day on the streets of Manchester in the early 1980s, and was unable to move and escape the approaching bicycle tires of one Steven Patrick Morrissey who could not see poppy over the handlebars of his bicycle and the front-mounted bike basket full of gladiolas that he was carrying to a friend under an iron bridge. Pictured here: http://www.kerstinrodgers.com/files/gimgs/10_morrissey-with-bike.jpg
Death ensued.
Fortunately, with the help of stonehenge and some other druid mumbo jumbo that I do not exactly understand, poppy is back among the undead. And she has forgiven Morrissey. Especially after hearing this beautiful song. The video for which, by strange coincidence, incorporates exactly the same bike and basket (though sans gladiolas), that led to poppy's untimely demise.
Actually, they say brevity is the soul of wit. Or maybe the soul of twitter. Yeah, like twitter has a soul. Anyway, I tend to, as poppy would say, rattle on.
Ok. I will take a shot at bum #2. Because the story behind #1 is fairly obvious. I mean, c'mon. Wavy Chicken Gravy, Baby. Two words: Fillmore '68.
ReplyDelete#2 is more of an enigma. From a cryptozombioligical standpoint (yes, I just coined that term. After all, I do write for a living), the taxonomy is hard on this one.
I mean, this is no chicken. I'm tempted to call it a member of the family Leporidae (bunnies for all of you non-cryptozombieologists out there.) But there is also something very Marsupial about this creature. Compare the proboscis (nose) of creature #2 to that of this Koala bear (which is miscategorized as a ursine (bear) but is actually marsupial.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Koala_climbing_tree.jpg
But I digress. Actually, I do not digress. I progress. Because what I'm trying to do is put a picture together. Like any good taxonomist worth his or her salt would.
Let's talk about the orange eyes. There are several creatures whose eyes glow orange. The most typical being alligators and spiders.
Citation here: http://insects.ummz.lsa.umich.edu/MES/notes/entnote12.html
It's on the internet. I has to be true. But this is puzzling. Because this creature has rabbit-like teeth, a marsupial nose, alligator eyes (absence of 8 reticulated limbs have eliminated the arachnid possibility) and, if i must say, feline whiskers.
I believe we have discovered a brand new cryptozombiological creature. Kind of like an undead platypus. Or group of platypie. A bus tub of platypie, I believe they are referred to as. But I'm just an amateur at this, really, not the expert I pretend to be.
I'm naming this new species "Speciesotica Eclectica." Not for any other reason except that I enjoy the ring of that. And it reminds me of a way to obviously invented word, like that "unobtainium" crap name they had for the mineral they were mining on that planet in the movie Avatar.
But enough about species. Let's talk about this cute little zombie gal. She is quite shy (though obviously nationalistic). She whispered her name to me in a thick but sexy british accent. "Me name is Rohnwen. But you can call me Poppy."
I tried to pry a last name out of her but she says we'll have to "get on a bit" before that happens. Perhaps there is a royal lineage story here of some kind. Certainly some intrigue.
She said as a youngling she was found by a family of hedgehogs near a marshy moor. Taken into her graces, she lived and toiled along side the friendly creatures, even teaching herself to curl into a ball to fit in. This was to be her undoing. As she became curled into said position one day on the streets of Manchester in the early 1980s, and was unable to move and escape the approaching bicycle tires of one Steven Patrick Morrissey who could not see poppy over the handlebars of his bicycle and the front-mounted bike basket full of gladiolas that he was carrying to a friend under an iron bridge. Pictured here: http://www.kerstinrodgers.com/files/gimgs/10_morrissey-with-bike.jpg
Death ensued.
Fortunately, with the help of stonehenge and some other druid mumbo jumbo that I do not exactly understand, poppy is back among the undead. And she has forgiven Morrissey. Especially after hearing this beautiful song. The video for which, by strange coincidence, incorporates exactly the same bike and basket (though sans gladiolas), that led to poppy's untimely demise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRtW1MAZ32M
Holy crap! How am I supposed to follow THAT?????
ReplyDeleteYou may have just thrown down a challenge that will be impossible to overcome. But it will be fun to try. I just can't write that much!
ReplyDeleteActually, they say brevity is the soul of wit. Or maybe the soul of twitter. Yeah, like twitter has a soul. Anyway, I tend to, as poppy would say, rattle on.
ReplyDelete