Dancing Queen

Miss Priss

Prissy was the inspiration for Abba’s song, “Dancing Queen.” She’s not so young and sweet anymore, especially since being zombi-fied by KC’s Sunshine Band. “I’m Your Boogie Man” takes on a whole new meaning now. 

Likes: Margaritas, eating centipedes, getting down and shaking her booty. 

Dislikes: Last call, arthritis.

Hi. I’m Miss Priss. I’ll be your boogie babe.

I Give Love a Bad Name, Baby

Uh Richie, we need to talk.

TaiDai

Tai has mad air guitar skills. He is trying to get a private audition with Jon Bon Jovi. Tai just KNOWS if he can get his wing in the door, Jon would replace pretty boy Richie Sambora in a heartbeat. 

Likes: Giving love a bad name, groupies. 

Dislikes: Being slippery when wet, living in sin.

The Doctor is In

Zombie Pox

Dr. Zane Fox was the favorite doctor of all the hens in the coop. One day he was giving the chicks their turkey pox vaccinations, when a swarm of zombees stung him all over his body and did a Jeykll and Hyde number on him. Dr. Zane Fox is now Zombie Pox, and the chickens run shrieking from him. He is changing careers and will soon be a certified beekeeper. 

Likes: Corn on the cob, dancing the foxtrot, playing golf. 

Dislikes: winter, rainy days and Mondays, stewed tomatoes.

I’ve got your pox right here.

Clowns are Zombies, Too

Pinkeye

Pinkeye was studying hard at clown school when Jerry Lewis busted in and zombi-fied everyone in the class. Bad news: zombie chicken. Good news: instant clown suit. 

Likes: Cirque du Soleil, 

cotton candy. 

Dislikes: elephant doodoo, Pennywise the (shudder) 

Dancing Clown.

Bringin’ Sexy to Your Town

Sexy Fred

Fred played basketball in the coop before getting zombi-fied by the competition. A basketball-playing chicken? Why not? He has the legs for it. But he was kicked off the team — no zombies allowed in the fowl leagues — so now he hangs out at the disco, bringing sexy back. 

Likes: the Bee Gees, doin’ the Disco Duck, helping short chickens with stuff on the high shelves at the store. 

Dislikes: Justin Timberlake (stole the sexy idea), last call.

I’m Sexy Fred. Did I mention I was sexaaaaaay?

Queen of Purple. And Buttons.

Purple Bettie Buttons

Purple Bettie is a button collector. She is the illegitimate love child of Red Buttons and Dottie Goldbond, a Vegas showgirl. Bettie's favorite color is purple, so she only collects purple buttons. She likes to fantasize that Prince wrote the song “Purple Rain” about her. 

Favorite movies: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and the Button King documentary.

Favorite animal: cow. 

Dislikes: zippers, cow pies.

Purple Bettie with her friend Elsie.

Happy Birthday, k.d. lang!

I made a zombie chicken for k.d. lang's 50th birthday, coming up Nov. 2. I am taking it to her concert in Dallas this week and plan to get it to her ... somehow.


Words in bold text are song titles from several of her albums.


Pine and Stew

This is the story of how Pine and Stew were zombi-fied.

Pine and Stew had been pulling back the reins on their love life because, for some time, Pine had been led down a trail of broken hearts, and Stew had followed reluctantly, griping all the way. “I don’t want to be a lemming, but you keep dragging me along on a diet of strange places. While you’re busy being blue, I’m stuck, constantly craving my last cigarette, which you won’t let me smoke because you’re trying to hook up with some big-boned gal. I say it’s high time for a detour, so I’m taking the bull by the horns and turning you around, washing you clean and making you drink black coffee until you’ve tuned into my wave.”

When Pine had stopped crying and they both had luck in their eyes again, he and Stew went to a polka party, hoping to hit paydirt with Bopalena and Polly Ann. “Hellooooo, sweet little Cherokees, how about a little hanky panky?”

“Oh, I mustn’t ... I have a boyfriend,” purred Polly Ann. “You don’t want to see Johnny get angry.” Bopalena shrugged off her friend’s hesitation. “Come on, Polly — Johnny is out ridin’ the rails and won’t be back for three days. I think these curious souls want to be led astray.”

And so Pine and Stew waltzed around the dance floor with Bopalena and Polly Ann. Pine whispered to Polly, “I’m so in love!” Polly Ann winked, signaling Bopalena. And that’s when Pine and Stew discovered that their Honky Tonk Angels were really Honky Tonk Zombies.

“Save me!” Pine yelped. “I TOLD you to watch your step during that last polka!” Stew snapped. Bopalena laughed and mocked them. “Tears don’t CARE who cries them!” Then she and Polly Ann promenaded out the door, leaving Pine and Stew with nowhere to stand, once again on that trail of broken hearts.

Under the western stars, Pine and Stew looked at each other, and suddenly knew what they had to do. “Sing it loud, my friend, sing it loud! We’re zombie chickens!”

Hi, I'm Pine. 

And I'm Stew.