Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Gizzard of Oz


Teddie Gale

Teddie was one of the chickens at the Gale farm before the tornado. When the stormchaser news team showed up, they thought it would be the perfect opportunity to make that indie movie they’d been talking about. Teddie thought they said “The Gizzard of Oz.” He had no interest in being subject of the film, so he dressed up like Dorothy, the brat who encouraged her stupid little dog to chase all the chickens. The morning of casting call, Teddie showed up, expecting only a walk-on role. The director loved Teddie’s look, exclaiming, “She’ll fit right in with the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion and Wizard!” Well, sweet little Dorothy wasn’t having any of that. She texted Miss Almira Gulch over in Greenville, and promised her a new bicycle with a honky horn if she’d take care of Teddie. Ol’ Gulchy whipped up a batch of her special brew, watered her barnyard cemetery with it, and zombie chickens rose to the occasion. They swooped over the Gale farm and zombi-fied everyone this side of Oz. Now Teddie spends his days laughing at Dorothy, who keeps trying to find her way outta Dodge with a map drawn by the Scarecrow, who is, frankly, clueless.

Likes: kitties, rainbows, lollipops, pecking out Toto’s brains. 

Dislikes: tornadoes, Auntie Em, flying monkeys.





Thursday, August 23, 2012

Happy Birthday, Miss Tabor


Hennilynn Munrow

Hennilynn and friends were preparing a surprise 16th birthday party for their friend, Tabor. Hennilynn answered the doorbell, expecting the Nicki Minaj and Marilyn Monroe impersonators, but instead found a mob of zombie chickens looking for KoolAid and Cheetos. And brains. They stormed the house and zombi-fied everyone there and ate all the snacks. Tabor’s 16th birthday party was the biggest surprise party EVER.

Hennilynn likes: baseball players, white dresses and cream puffs. 

Dislikes: getting zombi-fied before graduating, stitches and Beliebers.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

DQ Daisy


DQ Daisy had the “DQ” added to her name after she was zombi-fied at the local Dairy Queen. She had just ordered a chocolate dip cone when she was attacked by a zombie who was craving brains covered in ice cream. Daisy came out of it with a permanent curly-q comb and a job making perfectly swirled and curled cones at DQ. 

Likes: disco dancing, playing the harmonica. 

Dislikes: roosters who are shorter than she, people who think Braum’s is better than DQ.


Sister Hazel


Sister Hazel is a soloist in the choir at Old Zion Freewill Last Hope Christian Church of Christ. She is loved and accepted there, even though she is a zombie chicken. Because, after all, God loves us all, even zombies. 

Likes: her stylish hats, parish potluck dinners, giving hugs. 

Dislikes: being asked if brains are her favorite food.

WINNING


Bingo Bart holds the title of winning-est zombie chicken in the U.S. Everyone hates it when he struts into the room — from the casinos in Vegas to the bingo halls in Hicksville — because you just can’t beat the dude. 

Likes: to yell “WINNING!” when he enters a room. 

Dislikes: chickens who are only attracted to him for his money.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Zombie Chickens


Miss Sunnyshine is the happiest zombie chicken you’ll ever meet. It was only her second day at the chicken coop when a pack of zombies showed up. She ran straight toward them because she thought they were from Welcome Wagon. The zombies were pretty disappointed, because she didn’t have a lot of brains for them to munch on. But she still has her sunny disposition, and that’s saying a lot when you’ve been zombi-fied! 

Likes: sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, kittens. 

Dislikes: rainy days ... except for the rainbows!

Party On! Pete


Party On! Pete is a real party animal. He was zombi-fied by a belly dancer at Tasso’s Greek Restaurant in Kansas City, but he had so much fun with her, he didn’t even care. 

Likes: yelling “Opa!”, ouzo, breaking plates. 

Party on!
Dislikes: Last call, finding out Zaina is married, ouzo hangovers.

Caveman Claude


Caveman Claude dressed up as a caveman for Halloween. Strutting through the neighborhood on his way to a party, he was zombi-fied by some real zombies who were dressed as chickens. So much for being able to trust your own fellow chicken. 

Likes: candy corn, the monster mash. 

Dislikes: cemeteries, getting toothbrushes instead of candy.

Fern


Fern is a recent graduate of the Banner Academy, where she learned to make banners for all sorts of beauty contests. She hopes to bypass the sewing machines and go straight to the Miss America Pageant, helping contestants with their banners backstage. 

Secret goal: meeting Chris Harrison, host of pageants and The Bachelor. 

Dislikes: cheap fabric, Donald Trump.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Rodeo Clowns and Circus Clowns ... one and the same


Hottie Chick


Ms. Hottie was a rodeo groupie until she was zombi-fied by a rodeo clown dressed like a rooster. The bronc busters ignored her after that, but she found her new home with some carnies at the circus. 

Likes: the donkey vet, the Fabulous Flying Birdman and circus peanuts. 

Dislikes: roosters, elephants stepping on her toes, the donkey vet’s wife. 

Giddyup


Cowgurrrl Zombie

Cowgurrrl is one cool chick who loves horsies, doggies and her buddy Sooz’n. They spent their days riding, shopping at Hunn Leather, laughing until they peed their pants and swigging margaritas. That is, until Cowgurrrl was zombi-fied by a giant bird named Boeing. Now she and Sooz’n will be friends from afar, separated by miles – but not smiles. 

Likes: the smell of horses, leather and barns. 

Dislikes: naughty ponies, horseflies, Mr. Ed.







































Cowgurrrl Pride!


Monday, January 30, 2012

Snow Zombies

Mini Snow Zombies, L-R:

Gretchen the Surly
Likes: pirate movies
Dislikes: kittens


Craig Zombison
Likes: cussing rabbits
Dislikes: censorship

Sir Snowball
Likes: fuzzy balls on hats
Dislikes: onions

Snowsanta
Likes: Christmas!
Dislikes: lazy reindeer


Snowball’s Chance
Likes: hot weather
Dislikes: snow angels



Snow-Ho
Likes: snowmen
Dislikes: dogs that pee 
on her



Baby Chicks

Mini Zombie Chicks, L-R:

Susie
Likes: brand new crayons
Dislikes: used-up coloring books


Shake Your Bella
Likes: to boogie
Dislikes: can’t sneak up on you


Diaper Dan
Likes: polka-dotted diapers
Dislikes: his name


Jimmy
Likes: cracked corn and he doesn’t care who knows it


Bubba
Likes: the letter
Dislikes: paper cuts












Zombies of the Sea

Zombie Sea Creatures, L-R: 

Angie Angel
Likes: playing checkers
Dislikes: ocean litter

Molly Ringworm
Likes: wearing worms
Dislikes: catfish

Moneyfins
Likes: belly dancing
Dislikes: fake gold gallions

Farmer Ted
Likes: Molly Ringworm
Dislikes: jellyfish



Who is that masked Zombie?


Batzombie
































Real name: Loose Wayne

Occupation: Saving the world

Base of Operations: Burrton, KS

Marital Status: Single but looking

Height: 13 inches

Weight: None of your beezwax

Eyes: Stunningly blue

Hair: Huh?

Hobby: Collecting quiche recipes

Powers: Able to fart the National Anthem in the key of C; can peck a lock; crushes young girls' hearts and villians’ souls

Impressive Gadgets: Superman Utility Belt that allows him to call Superman to get him out of a jam; Bat Spotlight which he can shine into the sky from his chest like a Deatheater's Dark Mark; Batcape which just looks pretty cool

History: Grew up in Bird City, KS; zombi-fied by The Penguin's cousin, The Chickenhawk

Enemies: The Penguin, The Chickenhawk, The Weasel, The Foxtrot, The Frying Pan

Allies: Superman, Rooster Girl, Turkey Lurkey, The CapeMaker, Bananarama

Nuthin’ squawks like a zombie chicken


Dear Jon Greene

Formerly a tractor mechanic for Allis Chalmers, Mr. Greene was zombi-fied by a certain Mr. S. Gorges, who has made it his mission to wipe out every tractor company on earth other than John Deere. Mr. Greene now does free marketing and PR for his favorite new tractor manufacturer. 

Likes: Nashville’s Aquinas College croquet team; watching a gentle spring rain. 

Dislikes: red tractors; crab cakes and crabby people.
Hi. I’m Jon Greene.

Hallelujah! Zombie Chickens are Back!


Sistah Priscilla

The Sistah formerly known as Prissy was one of Foghorn Leghorn’s flock of chicks. She was in charge of his corn whiskey supply until one night when she was zombi-fied by a weasel. Most productive zombi-fication ever, by the way. Sistah Priscilla was born again and now she spends her days singin’ the Lord’s praise. 

Likes: every living creature on earth, especially worms. 

Dislikes: Foghorn’s breath.